Image Source: Tinder\/Nintendo via Bulbapedia<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nLikes:<\/strong> Amusing japes, a spot of tap-dancing here and there, the local bordello.<\/p>\n\n\n\nDislikes:<\/strong> Ill-fitting suits, beer served under room temperature, American football “coz you use your bloomin’ hands, innit”.<\/p>\n\n\n\nI’m looking for a little more engagement, so I’m now pursuing a relationship with a Mr. Rime. We’ll share a giggle or two as we throw judgment towards the common folk, our icy stares belying the warmth of our dispositions. I’m not sure what that means, but Mr. Rime said it would be a clever thing to say, so in it goes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mr. Rime is popular no matter where it goes, causing all kinds of mischief with what are scientifically described as “amusing movements”. As such, you’ll always find yourself invited to the most prestigious parties, hobnobbing with the elite and improving your social status with every waking moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All this is to say, Mr. Rime is a bit of a jerk. A lot of a jerk, actually. It’s basically Caledon Hockley from Titanic, but without the benefit of being Billy Zane. Can I just date Billy Zane instead? No? I guess we’ll have to keep searching, then…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Buzzwole<\/h2>\n\n\n\nImage Source: Tinder\/Nintendo via Bulbapedia<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nLikes:<\/strong> BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ<\/p>\n\n\n\nDislikes:<\/strong> BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ<\/p>\n\n\n\nMaybe I don’t want all of that arrogance, and would like to just date the sexy mosquito? It’s a free country, you can’t stop me, dammit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Much like Machoke, Buzzwole’s breathtaking physique is a sight to behold, and it will not hesitate to display it for the masses. Is it showing off? Is it threatening you? I legitimately do not know, and I am a little too terrified to ask.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In all honesty, I have very quickly come to regret this decision, as the intensity of a Buzzwole is more than I could have imagined. Have you ever been kept awake at night by the incessant buzzing of an unseen insect? Imagine that, except the insect is seven feet tall and is probably actually trying to kill you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Probopass<\/h2>\n\n\n\nImage Source: Tinder\/Nintendo via Bulbapedia<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nLikes:<\/strong> Magnetism, facial hair, its army of Mini-Noses.<\/p>\n\n\n\nDislikes:<\/strong> Kitchen appliances, metal detectors, leg day.<\/p>\n\n\n\nOut of all the underwhelming dates I have suffered through, this one at least shows the most promise. A relationship with a Probopass is sure to be rock solid<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\nThis hirsute Pokemon is literally an enormous magnet, equipped with a trio of underlings known as Mini-Noses that it sends out to do its bidding. Are these its children? Or its employees? Either way, having three servants on-hand at all times is a sweet deal, making Probopass feel like a very important member of society.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You shouldn’t expect any heartfelt sonnets or particularly rousing discussions. In fact, don’t really expect anything beyond a large nose, and you won’t be disappointed. Or thrilled. Or emotionally influenced in any way, positively or negatively. Out of sheer exhaustion, it is for this reason I have chosen to finally settle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom and dad, I married a Probopass \u2014 this article was just a circuitous way of announcing it. I hope you’ll forgive me someday.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I regret writing this as much as you will regret reading it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":149,"featured_media":962215,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[8,23447],"tags":[9,285,931],"internal-label":[],"article_type":[194383],"coauthors":[{"id":149,"display_name":"Tony Cocking","user_nicename":"tonycc"}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/twinfinite.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/Slaking-Tinder-Logo.jpeg?fit=1200%2C675","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/twinfinite.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/962170"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/twinfinite.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/twinfinite.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twinfinite.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/149"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twinfinite.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=962170"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/twinfinite.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/962170\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":962245,"href":"https:\/\/twinfinite.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/962170\/revisions\/962245"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twinfinite.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/962215"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/twinfinite.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=962170"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twinfinite.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=962170"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twinfinite.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=962170"},{"taxonomy":"internal-label","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twinfinite.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/internal-label?post=962170"},{"taxonomy":"article_type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/twinfinite.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/article_type?post=962170"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}